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TODD BALL: Spider Tack situation sticky stuff for Cole, fellow MLB pitchers

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A buddy went on and on the other day about all the shenanigans — past and present — of Major League Baseball and how its reputation is being affected by them.

See if you can keep up …

Juiced balls …

Steroids …

Corked bats …

Deadened balls …

Pine tar …

“Gotta cheat to win — win at all costs,” he said. “It’s the American way.”

Yeah … he went there.

And really where is baseball going these days with all this garbage?

“I don’t … I don’t know … I don’t quite know how to answer that, to be honest,” New York Yankees ace Gerrit Cole told reporters Monday when asked if he’s ever doctored balls on the mound using a sticky paste called Spider Tack.

“There are customs and practices that have been passed down from older players to younger players, from the last generation of players to this generation of players, and I think there are some things that are certainly out of bounds in that regard,” he continued, pausing often. “This is important to a lot of people who love the game, including the players in this room, including fans, including teams, so if MLB wants to legislate some more stuff, that’s a conversation that we can have. Because ultimately we should all be pulling in the same direction on this.”

ESPN’s Buster Olney reported that the league is, indeed, cracking down on all the sticky substances starting pitchers are using to up their game. We’re talkin’ (again, try and keep up) rosin, pine tar, sunscreen, super glue and other foreign fusing agents and even a mix of some or all. Umpires are doing multiple spot-checks during games right now.

And, yes, the lube jobs make a major difference, increasing the spin-rates on balls thrown — the analytics appear to back that up — since pitchers are able to improve their grip on the ball, causing more movement and upping the speed of their pitches.

Said slugger Josh Donaldson, whose Minnesota Twins faced Cole on Wednesday, “Now, it’s about who’s throwing the nastiest pitches, the more unhittable pitches,” adding that it’s “performance-enhancing.”

Uh-oh … that’s a term baseball fans don’t want to hear.

The fear, of course, is that it taints the game.

The pitching fraternity, however, feels questioning Cole and the many others who do ‘tack up’ — perhaps even every major-league hurler — is completely out of bounds.

Maybe so, but hitters take a hit when they do the same (remember George ‘Pine Tar’ Brett?) and they’ve been vilified for corking bats (say it ain’t so, Sammy), steroid use (is your head bigger, Barry?) and stealing signs with the help of outside forces to win championships (hello, Houston Astros).

So is this then the same with the pitchers — a so-called case of cheating?

Or is this … um … simply a ticky-tacky foul?

Regardless of what we think, the hitters and the pitchers had better find common ground on the subject at hand.

Otherwise, it’s something that will be painted as tainting the game.

AROUND THE BASES

For what it’s worth, we’d rather see all major leaguers use only their talent to get the job done. But we know that’s an antiquated 20th Century notion — somehow laughable — right up there with bunting, stealing bases and hitting away from the shift. Who wants a clean, small-ball-filled game anyway? … Hands up if you want to see a kid from the MLB’s only Canadian team win baseball’s triple crown. That’s a resounding ‘YES’ or ‘OK, Blue Jays, let’s play ball!’ (Sorry, that’s another throwback to 20th Century nonsense.) Yes, Toronto Blue Jays phenom Vladimir Guerrero Jr. has a shot at the coveted honour. Heading into Friday’s action, he was tied for tops in home runs (18) with Atlanta Braves all-world athlete Ronald Acuna Jr., owned a co-share of the RBI lead (48) with Boston Red Sox slugger Rafael Devers and Chicago White Sox veteran Jose Abreu and was fifth in batting average (.329). Cincinnati Reds rocker Nick Castellanos led the majors with a 20th Century-like .357 clip … One big reason the San Diego Padres (37-27) are at the top of the ladder in the National League is their aggressiveness on the basepaths. No team’s baserunners have advanced from first to third base when the ball is in play more often than the Padres this year … One big reason the Arizona Diamondbacks (20-43) are at the bottom of the ladder — dead-last in the majors, in fact — is they own 19 straight losses on the road dating back to a doubleheader sweep of the host Atlanta Braves way back on May 25. Yup, the away games certainly have gotten away from them … Whose turn is it to go on a heater in the NL Central? After the Chicago Cubs (36-27) went 14-3 to shoot into the division lead, the Milwaukee Brewers (35-27) cooked up an 11-2 run to sit neck-and-neck with the Cubbies. The St. Louis Cardinals (32-31) — now 2-9 in their last 11 after losing 8-5 to the Cubs on Friday — had better follow suit.

EXTRA INNINGS

Strange seeing Padres SS Ha-Seong Kim batting with his sliding mitts sticking out of his back pocket. It’s quite the eyesore, taking away from the traditionally look of the baseball uniform and prompting former MLB pitcher Doug Glanville to come up with the quote of the week. “Every time I see that, I think, ‘Will someone check my cinnamon rolls coming out of the oven?’ The ESPN analyst isn’t wrong given the oversized safety gloves — now predominant among baserunners — look like kitchen mitts used to get the piping-hot Pillsburys out of the oven … Broadcasters Glanville, Tim Kurkjian and Jason Benetti also went on and on during Monday night’s ESPN telecast of the Padres-Cubs game about funny-flick Anchorman since the game was in San Diego, where the laugh-out-loud movie was set. It prompted Kurkjian to recall a tweet about how Steve Carell was likely to look like Kurkjian when he gets really old. Trouble is Kurkjian is only three years older than Carell right now. Oof. Others say the two sound alike, so maybe there’s a Tim Almighty role in Kurkjian’s future … In the meantime, we’ll be Ron Burgundy bidding you adieu for another week — ‘You stay classy, San Diego.’

tsaelhof@postmedia.com

http://www.twitter.com/ToddSaelhofPM

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