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SPENCER: Why we need to choose compassion

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The pattern of obsessive critical thinking and the judgmental trap of contemplating our behaviours, as well as others, or the idea that we are not all without flaws, is a self-destructive motif.

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In this incredibly competitive society of ours, navigating these super strange days of politics and pandemic is somehow and someway not diverting us from this constant judgment of others.

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In a world where many of us struggle with truly feeling good or wondering if we are doing “enough” on any given day, a pandemic of this velocity seems to have elevated and heightened all of the worries, anxieties and judgments we feel about ourselves and those we direct towards others.

What do we do with all of the thoughts of judgement, fear and disparagement?

Stop.

Simply stated, just stop. When you catch yourself stuck in the loop of judging the external world, other’s actions, other’s reactions, just stop.

This is new territory for us. For all of us. The politicians, the first responders, the front-line workers, the laid off, the businesses closed, the fragile folk that are afraid to contract this virus, those have that tested positive and yes, those that have lost people they love because of COVID-19. This is all new for all of us.

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We all, however, have the choice to shift from disparagement to compassion. This pandemic has led to sweeping changes and disruptions in nearly every aspect of daily life for every single person on the planet. With mandates and guidelines changing all the time, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by our own anxieties. It is important to practice compassion during this time, not only for others but for ourselves as well.

Compassion must be an attribute we are willing to give ourselves and each other day to day, now more than ever.

Please, give yourself some compassion as you choose what is right for you as mandates begin to lift. Give your neighbours some understanding and compassion.  Give strangers some kindness and compassion. Just try judging less and offering more compassion.

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Manoeuvring the sails of these stormy strange days is new for us all. Thinking that everyone is going to do it perfectly is simply not realistic. While I enjoy goals of high standards and accountability, self-preservation sometimes requires a willingness to appreciate ‘good enough for now’ or the idea that we are all doing the best we can, with what tools we have, in this moment.

A study by Anstice, a research and marketing communications consultancy in Calgary, found that 67 per cent of 800 respondents ranked the basics of life – health, family and friends – as the most important things. Sheenah Rogers-Pfeiffer, the founder and chief strategist of Anstice, stated “these findings show that COVID-19 has turned the indulgent consumer culture of yesterday upside down and on its head,” she said in a release. “We appear to be moving into a far more compassionate and kinder society.”

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We need to.

It starts with each of us. You listen, you get quiet enough to hear. You put down your smart phone and your laptop much more often throughout the day. You check in with yourself. How are you feeling? Is what you are doing creating feelings of judgment, frustration or anger or compassion, kindness and goodness?

You choose love. You notice the compassion in your heart and you act from that place. You rest. You ask others how they are and you listen.

We don’t have to be passive onlookers. We can speak clearly, powerfully and we can speak with compassion. We can be present in our life.  Be the change we wish to see. We strive to the be the role models we want our children to be.

We all must necessitate the display and modelling of our own compassionate accountability. Choosing humanity, grace, benevolence, kindness and compassion is not only better for us as a collective, but for each of us and our individual health and happiness.

Choose compassion.

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