Sharing a laugh from Scotland

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We need a giggle so I am sharing part of an email my sister forwarded to me from a friend’s mother.

The Dufftown Speirin’s newsletter ( has a Facebook group much like the “I grew up in (name your town)” sites we have here. This one comes from Scotland – not the one down the road but the one across the pond and proves all share the same experience wherever we live. Enjoy.

“When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

“To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9 p.m. is the new midnight.
“The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
“When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
“I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
“I had my patience tested. I’m negative.
“Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a “Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
“If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”
“I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
“I run like the winded.
“I hate when a couple argues in public and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.
“When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”
“When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
“I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.
“When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”
D’on’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.
“My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.”

Come on now, you know you giggled and it felt good, didn’t it?


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