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Peacefully finding a difference of opinion

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“I am right, you are wrong.”

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Okay, these aren’t the exact words people are saying, but might as well be in some cases. No matter what side of the fence you are on when it comes to pandemic or politics, what we are saying and doing is not creating any unity but furthering strongholds, entrenched in a way of thinking. Black and white thinking has become more prominent, instead of finding any middle grey ground.

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Some prefer to simply avoid any discussions that trigger uncomfortable opinion or as my mother reminded me at dinner Sunday of the old saying ‘never discuss these three things in public: sex, politics or religion.’ But in a modern world of social media, it seems politics and pandemics have broken the polite discussions barrier.

Could it be okay to try? Could we learn to use this as an opportunity and understanding of what others are saying and feeling? Can we set the example ourselves of letting the two opposing ideas coexist?

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For example, the majority of people are vaccinated while some are reluctant or don’t believe in them. Many people feel lockdowns, masking and other public health mandates protect ourselves, our families and others, while others feel it is an infringement on their freedoms.

Another example of ‘grey’ thought is that the majority of people do not agree with the trucker convoy, but many people do support it. Most protesters at the event in Ottawa say it’s peaceful while most Ottawa citizens share how awful it was for them. While the grassroots organizers of the convoy have video footage of racism, and the protests have shown hate flags, not everyone that supports the convoy is a racist. Most people believe in freedom of peaceful protest, while also most believe that the Ottawa protests, and others, turned into illegal occupation, while some believe they were just fine.

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All of these examples are facts that coexist together. Denying each other of what we believe creates a further need to yell our points into validation.   However, the anger, the name calling, the dramatization of it does not have to continue.

The divisiveness on social media is deafening. Keyboard warriors leaving snarky, rude or even malicious comments or trolling those who don’t have their same beliefs. The wild web gives some people a sense of freedom of their actions without consequences.

Don’t get me wrong, I think discussions of difference is wonderful and necessary. How else would we widen our echo chambers where only our existing views are reinforced and alternative ideas are not considered?

In our current climate, we are frequently have differences of opinion with the people around us. Those differences in points of view do not have to lead to anger or conflict. Even if there cannot be resolution, there can be understanding.

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How can we get past arguing and frustration and maybe get some new, more peaceful perspective?

Be open to calm and rationale discussion. If we or they, are name calling and being extreme or dismissive, it’s probably not going to be a productive conversation. In my opinion, for some folks, we will just have to wait for them to come out of the rabbit holes they’ve gone down. But many people are willing to share their point of view calmly and considerately. Can we step back and at least understand that there are other perspectives? Can we be open to the awareness that two truths can coexist? We should all be willing and open to leave a conversation with a new or revised opinion.

Become aware of your language. If you are using language (both words and body language) during discussions that is inflaming, dramatic, concrete with no wiggle room for discussion or insulting, then movement and peacefully understanding is not likely. Start with yourself. Be calm and polite when sharing facts and information. You can’t control how other people behave, but you can control how you respond to them and how you behave. It’s one thing to be passionate about your beliefs and politics, it’s another when it crosses the line into cruelty, harm and disregard for others wellbeing. Be the change.

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Backing up statements from reputable sources is important. In a day where literally anyone can make a YouTube video with their opinion, notice if the opinion is backed by facts or if their truth is simply just an opinion. Anyone can make a video that looks professional and reputable but that doesn’t always make it the case. And while I understand that news outlets often lean to a political audience, facts can still be found. Scientific facts are repeatable and duplicable, empirically evidence-based and critically peer-reviewed and in consensus of scientific community. Other facts need to be confirmed by unbiased and reputable sources. If you have health and science related questions, perhaps source science and health experts, rather than political news stations.

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Find some common ground. We can often agree with a person’s goal even though we disagree with the strategies or tactics for reaching it. For whatever the reason, each of us has different beliefs, understandings and acceptances of what is. But I think we all want happiness, health, love, and acceptance. I think we all want freedom. Even when we disagree about how to realize these values, we can remind ourselves that this is indeed a common ground. Agreeing on fundamental issues or core values can pave the way to further agreements, in more specific areas.

Take responsibility. We need to quit blaming media, politicians, scientists and Bill Gates for the challenging divide in our lives. Be responsible for the energy you bring to the table, how you show up for conversations and how black and white or grey you are communicating.

It’s time to create more opportunity for mutual respect for each other no matter what political affiliation or pandemic stance we have. It’s time we all stand up and choose compassion over conflict.

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