Can we just try?

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I am writing a book with my Auntie.

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We just finished a video conference, as we often do once each week. Our conversations are usually a mishmash of personal life, spirituality and the book. Today it was both.

We both hold similar views of politics and pandemic. One would think those should be separate conversations, but I am starting to see that most opinions are often politically driven.

Many, no matter what perspective of the current world we live in, are feeling uncomfortable, hurt and bewildered by each other’s stance. Each of us speaking out, or quietly living in accordance to what we believe to be true and important. Often creating conflict through judgement of others, creating disconnection and more division.

When I feel like I am judging others for not having the same view as mine, quite honestly, it doesn’t feel good. I don’t have to agree with someone but I do feel better when I judge less. Both my aunt and I were sharing recent moments where we have had to step back and gather ourselves, connect to something bigger than ourselves, our spirituality, God, higher power, however you want to word it to feel better about our role in this chaos.

We discussed how when we got out of our own way, when we stepped back from our opinions and judgements and connected on a deeper level of the importance of what is best for us as individuals and as a society as a whole, we concluded more kindness, more insight to our own behaviours and less judgement of others.

You see, each of us has different life experiences, different thoughts and feelings and different conclusions and beliefs. There are many studies out there why one would believe something over another. It is a projection of our inner values. Each of our core or inner values comes uniquely from the individual, based on conscious, subconscious and collective conscious energies.

We may be aware of some of the thoughts, but not all. The subconscious can hold space and beliefs that we might not even be aware of that are guiding us to act in ways we believe in, as true as gravity itself.

For example, someone with past history of betrayal would perhaps believe in theories of government betrayal more easily. One study done, showed those suffering from depression is twice as likely to believe conspiracy theories. Those that have felt or witnessed oppression are more likely to rise up and take a human rights stance against people oppressed.

A considerable number of studies have focused on the relationships between various psychological traits and the likelihood of believing in unlikely conspiracies. In particular, the literature has shown that low levels of self-esteem, paranoid ideation, schizophyte, and high levels of need for cognitive closure (which is a psychological term that describes the human desire to obtain a straight answer to any questions leaving no space for confusion or ambiguity), tend to increase beliefs in conspiracy theories or theories that have been unproven.

The studies have also shown those with radical thinking (no matter what political affiliation) are prone to taking on unproven theories as their own. But ultimately, none of us has definitive truth and ultimate answers and perhaps never will.

My beliefs often lead me to the quote by Gandhi, “The true measure of any society can be found in how it treats its most vulnerable members.”

Couldn’t we conclude that during an unpreceded global pandemic, we are all vulnerable in one way whether physically, emotionally, mentally or spiritually?

Can we try to reframe the “I am right and you are wrong” argument to honour what each of us believe and where we are in this moment as we grow from here?

Can it co-exist that many people are tired and want this to be done and over?

Can we each try to start looking more about what we are thinking, saying, acting and controlling that with more integrity and with less judgment and more neutral observation of others?

Can we try to honour another opinion without feeling personally attacked or feel the desire to attack?

Can we try and understand that each of us comes from a different life, with different experiences and belief systems while feeling confident in our belief without feeling closed to allowing others to have their belief?

Can we try and be kinder and more loving to each other, since we are all feeling vulnerable after a two-year pandemic?

Can we just try?