Kelly Spencer - Happy Healthy YOU
(A wellness column by Kelly Spencer: writer, life coach, yoga & meditation teacher, holistic healer and a mindful life enthusiast!)
“Many moons ago, I was living a mindless, disregarded and unintentional life and I was sick. I was sick often. I was off work or hospitalized with atypical diseases and diagnosis for my age and seemingly good health. But I wasn’t healthy at all. In fact, my soul (conscious intellect, will, feelings and emotions) had been left unchecked and abandoned.” - from the upcoming book, Destiny, Life & Self-Leadership: And Our Unlimited Possibilities by Kelly Spencer.
What is a life of intention?
I now understand that I can direct my own thoughts and feelings and that my emotional energy is very powerful. I understand that I have the capacity to place my attention on anything I choose and comprehend that that energy will expand. I accept full responsibility for my health, happiness and what is going on my world, in each new moment.
Does that mean I don’t have drama? Definitely, not. I am human after all. Each of us experiences drama. Does this mean I never get sick? Nope, but I sure don’t get sick like a used to, I don’t take any prescribed medications, I don’t have any chronic illness and I can’t remember the last time I had to go to a medical doctor or hospital.
Does taking full responsibility mean that my life is like a rainbow kitten riding a unicorn over the rainbow? Impossible. There are still difficult situations and decisions I make in my life that are less than warm and fuzzy. But what I can for say for sure is when I practice high intention with low attachment, the ease of life flows much smoother.
High intention or engagement accompanied by low attachment... what does that even mean? Intention or engagement is the mindful act of placing our attention in the present moment of whatever we are doing, for the highest good. Attachment is how dependent our inner sense of well being is to the outcome of whatever our intention is.
I like to start and finish the day with intentional, chosen and mindful thoughts and feelings. This is a practice that changed my life. With only a few seconds of focusing your attention on a subject, you activate the vibration of that subject within you, and immediately the Law of Attraction begins to respond to that activation. The longer you keep your attention focused on something, the easier it becomes for you to continue to focus upon it because you are attracting other thoughts or vibrations that are the essence of the thought you began with.
Not only do I like to practice mindfulness of intentionally choosing my thoughts and feelings, but I also routinely engage in setting positive intentions to start my day, focusing on what I want to manifest into my experience, rather than what I do not want.
When dealing with difficult situations or people, I also set the highest intentions from my stand point, coming from a place of heart centre while letting go of attachment to the outcome. Remember, others come with their own shadows, baggage, intentions and motivations, that might be quite different than yours.
The reality is, many of us think we have the greatest of intentions as we deal and process with our life and the people in it. However, we often create a huge attachment to people and situations that we’ve chosen, which is not healthy. It’s like we have already planned the way we want people to act and the outcome of situations we want. And when we don’t get that which is our end-result attachment, we may attempt to manipulate, resent or continue to try and push the square peg through the round hole. This can create negative reactions or at the very least, emotional ones. When you are attached you want things to be a certain way, the way you think they “should” be. When they aren’t, there is an emotional reaction such as disappointment, suffering, resentment or hurt.
Keeping your good intentions high, and your attachments low, can protect your emotions from taking over and keep you in a place of high vibrational energy and positive purpose. Keep your intentions mindful and positive and fully engaged and focused on the intention rather than the outcome. You do all you can to create your desired outcomes and then just let it go. Sometimes things will go exactly as planned. Perfect. Other times, the universe may have other plans for you, maybe even better than what you had in mind. Just keep moving in the direction of your intentions, until you get there.
“There are four basic mindsets that you can have when it comes to taking on life. Which mindset you use will make a huge difference on how you experience your life.” - John Groberg, author.
According to Groberg, here are the four mindsets with brief descriptions.
1) Victim Mindset: Low Engagement - High Attachment. In the victim mindset, you do because you feel you must, not because you want to. You’re distracted or barely present in the moment. You can feel resentment, remorse, guilt, blame, comparisons to others etc. Perhaps even worry, anxiety, hopeful wishing that things will be more to your liking in the future than they are now, etc. There is little mindful effort but high attention and attachment to outcome. This is the least effective mindset of the four.
2) Hippie Mindset: Low Engagement - Low Attachment. The hippie mindset has lower levels of attachment. You care less how of how it turns out. Focus and attention is low. If things turn out the way you want, great, if they don’t, no big deal. Still not overly effective but at least not so victimized.
3) Roller Coaster Mindset: High Engagement - High Attachment. The roller coaster mindset can be a productive mindset, motivated to take massive action in order to achieve a goal. There is high level of engagement, intention and focus however an equally high investment in outcome. The outcome will dictate your feelings of high or low self-worth. This mindset is a roller coaster of dramatic feelings and ups and downs.
4) Peaceful Warrior Mindset: High Engagement - Low Attachment. The Peaceful Warrior mindset is the ideal mindset and the most effective. Highly focused, engaged mindful intentions in the present moment. While you are highly engaged, you simultaneously experience a low level of attachment to how things turn out. This is because your internal sense of well-being and worth is independent of the outcome. The more your internal experience of well being and worth becomes self-sufficient and independent of any outcome.
It’s important to understand the distinction of being committed versus being attached. Focus on the positive intentions and high engagement of the purpose of your pursuits, then renunciate and let go.
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