Kelly Spencer - Happy Healthy YOU
(A wellness column by Kelly Spencer: writer, life coach, yoga & meditation teacher, holistic healer and a mindful life enthusiast!)
There are timelines in life. A retail sale might have a special only until “next Saturday.” When voting, there is a specific deadline for casting your ballot. Your air flight leaves at a specific time. Certain situations carry limitations in life and are bound to a time frame.
If you miss the frame of time that has been set, then you might hear old school phrases such as... “You missed the boat” or “The train has left the station.”
But there are some timelines that are not set in stone and the only place we feel the limitations of self-imposed schedules is between our ears. We might place judgements or believe so deeply in a belief system that we have, that we limit ourselves in our abilities, our opportunities and our experiences.
What if there are endless boats coming to dock, and therefore you can never miss the boat?
When it comes to belief systems and judgements about what we can and can not have in our lives, to create the opportunity for ourselves sometimes all we need to do is find a different thought process and system of believability.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't - you're right.” - Henry Ford
If we believe we will never be happy, abundant, free, blessed (insert any limiting thought), then we probably will not. If we judge ourselves as someone that will never find love, travel the world, have a job that we enjoy or any other constraint we judge as a truth for ourselves, then most likely, we will stay status quo.
The opposite can also be our truth. When we stay steady in thought, feeling and action, that supports a positive or higher vibration outcome. Then we can reach higher. We can become leaders in our own destiny by shifting our attention and comprehensive outcome of our desires.
Meaning, the more we focus on what we don’t want, the more the energy of what we don’t want expands. Think about it. When you complain about a job, relationship (or lack of), or situation that you feel remorse or displeasure about, you don’t feel good by talking about it all the time. In fact, sometimes you feel worse. The energy of what you are giving is expanded.
The same is true when you think, feel and act in the opposing way. Using words that describe what you truly want, and allowing the expression of emotions of how amazing it will be as you tap into the awareness, excitement and perception of what you want in your life, will shift your experience. By focusing on what you want, the energy of your desires is given room to expand.
Sometimes I place deadlines on myself. For example, I have three books coming out this year. I wanted to have my books published and in possession of the hard copies by last year. Then I set a deadline for February. But life is busy, and the dates keep getting pushed back. Rather than feeling discouraged or defeated or that I am 'missing the boat,' I trust. I trust that the books will come out at the perfect time.
When life throws us for a loop and we lose a relationship, job or a perceived opportunity, maybe the timing wasn’t right or did not serve us best in this moment.
So many people have a familiar dialogue with themselves. It goes something like this “I wish I had...” or “I should have...” or “I’ll never..." have an opportunity like that again.” And it feels like the proverbial boat has set sail without you.
But what if you can’t miss your boat and it stays docked till you’re ready. Or if the boat that leaves the dock wasn’t even your boat but someone else’s. What if there is always more on its way - more opportunities, more ideas, more love and more scenarios of abundance.
Abundance mindset can be hard for many of us. We have been trained, shown, or told to think in terms of lack. To pay more attention to what we don’t have then gratitude for what we do have.
Try and think in terms of abundance. Belief in abundance is the source of all generosity and peace. Know that there is enough. Know that you are enough. Know that you have enough. Enough time, enough talent, enough love. Tapping into abundance mindset will create more opportunity for abundance.
Know that another boat, and another boat, is on its way. It’s a steady stream, and it doesn’t matter how many of them you believe you have missed.
“The only thing that matters is what are you doing right now in your vibration. And you can tell what you’re doing right now in your vibration by the way you feel.” - Abraham-Hicks
So, if you feel like you have missed the boat, or an opportunity has sailed on by, try these tips.
1. Trust. Sometimes a “No” now may be a “Yes” later. Or maybe a “No” is 'that boat has sailed' and a better opportunity is around the corner. I have seen (and lived) this many times. The loss of a job or relationship or opportunity that leads to a more fulfilling, expansive and favorable experience. Trust the abundance that is coming your way.
2. Don’t force. Some folks, when they see that ship is trying to set sail, hang on to the anchor rope with both hands, attempting to control and manage the ship that is setting sail without them. Remember, you can’t miss the boat. Perhaps that boat isn’t yours? There are times in our lives when we must discern and let go of the rope.
3. Inquire within. What do you really want? Make a list. Build a dream board. How believable is it? If it is not, inquire why. Can you shift the believability factor? If it were true and you already had this opportunity in your life, how does it feel? I have had life coaching clients that had jobs or relationships that were sucking the life out of them but were devastated when they lost the opportunity. Be sure you really want it. How important is it and why? Get crystal clear on what you truly want and how it will feel when you get it.
4. You didn’t miss your boat. Develop the mindset that nothing is going to stop you. Make some adjustments to your sails and course-correct, if needed. Think of it as driving to Toronto. You can take random back roads with no map, get lost and ask for direction several times or you can use your GPS and take a direct and easy highway route. One takes you longer than the other, but both will get you to where you are supposed to go. Listen to your intuition and heart and ask for guidance along the way.
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