Happy Healthy YOU
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Kelly Spencer - Happy Healthy YOU
Last week a skunk friend visited me (Signs from the Animal World). I have since then assisted two friends, a family member, and myself to heed the advice from the symbolic energy that the striped-back critter offers. When something stinks, know your limits, set your boundaries, demand respect and peacefully walk in the direction of letting go.
“Skunk energy may be letting you know that you do have the courage and will power to raise a stink to right a wrong. Just remember that this creature does not need to spray to be powerful - his reputation precedes him. Just stand your ground calmly and with confidence.” - Spirit Animal Totems and their Messages.
Letting go can be hard. Letting go can be exceptionally hard when you know it could have been different, better, or you fear the unknown. Often times a mix of feelings and emotions cloud our logic creating a F.O.G. (fear, obligation or guilt). This creates an expansion of that difficulty as your feelings make it harder for you to concentrate. It can seem as though the art of letting go is not a masterpiece but a hot mess of confusion and complication.
“You will find that it is necessary to let things go; simply for the reason that they are heavy. So let them go, let go of them.” - C. Joy Bell
Whether it’s a career, a friendship, a lover, a mindset or a personal character flaw such as denial or egotism, staying in the energy of that which leaves you feeling annoyed, frustrated, stressed and even broken creates un-health and unhappiness.
You begin to question yourself, wondering why it feels like you are frequently trying to push a square peg through a round hole. The lack of respect or self-care that you can feel is amplified with each encounter. Or you are giving energy into something that does not assist your own expansion. Either way, you end up feeling depleted and exhausted. But it is a problematic situation that in most cases is a choice. Don’t let go or let go?
In Yoga there is a practice called Aparigraha. It is the concept of non-possessiveness, non-attachment, non-grasping or non-greediness. It is the lesson of letting go.
What do you hold on to (maybe a little too tightly) in your life?
By letting go and releasing what is no longer useful, we open ourselves to fresh ideas, new relationships, and more harmonious ways of living and being. By letting go, we open doors.
In a recent workshop I facilitated, a participant shared about a relationship that they had. The student discussed feeling drained and tapped from continuous emotional rescues for their friend who creates drama in their life and then runs to them to complain and ask for help. The student expressed how depleting it was to have such an imbalance of energy within a relationship that only really existed when the other person had a problem.
In these kinds of situations, we must inquire within ourselves for the truth. What if you weren’t afraid to just be truthful about the situation? What if you let go of the fear, obligation and guilt? What if you were to do what is in the best interest of your body, mind, career and life in general?
As a Life Coach and holistic healer, I have heard many times, folks that don’t like their situation. Their job is stressful in one way or another, or a relationship is unrewarding in one way or another... but they cannot let go, despite the ill effect on their life. They hang on with a tight grip, sometimes fear of hurting others and sometimes fear of the unknown and venturing into a new job, a new relationship, a new chapter.
Stagnate: (verb) deteriorate by lack of action.
Everything that isn’t shifting and growing is stagnant or worse, tearing us down. Many times in our lives (professional, personal or interpersonal) we hang out in the swamp of stagnation. Our lack of action creates deterioration, stress and even sickness.
Shannon Kaiser, author of Find Your Happy shares, “Should I stay or should I go? Should I buy or save? Should I forgive or forget? Should I move or not? The shoulds become a thirsty internal craving as we try to process the best outcome for our life. The problem? In doing this, we often hold on to what no longer works.”
If we are finding ourselves having the same unwavering repetitive conversation or argument, maybe it’s time to let go.
If you are having frequent “Deja-poos” (same crap, different day), maybe it’s time to let go.
If you like the potential that is never a reality, maybe it’s time to let go.
If people are just taking from you but not giving to the relationship, maybe it’s time to let go.
If someone is stepping on you, to build themselves up, maybe it’s time to let go.
If you find yourself continuously complaining about a person or situation, maybe it’s time to let go.
If you are feeling stressed and unappreciated in your job or in a relationship, maybe it’s time to let go.
If you no longer trust the people around you at work or in your personal life, maybe it’s time to let go.
If you keep waiting for something or someone to change, maybe it’s time to let go.
If what you are doing is not working, maybe it’s time to let go.
I am not talking about singular or dual same experiences but consistently, progressively and ongoing experiences. And the letting go might not be an actual physical letting go but an internal process of letting go of existing belief systems, mindsets, attitudes or feelings.
I encourage you to evaluate the overall health of that you hold on to. Take time to ask the tough questions and truly honor the truth in the answers. And like the skunk, know your limits, set your boundaries, demand respect and peacefully walk in the direction of lovingly letting go.
This “Yama,” or the yogic foundation of spiritual life, asks us to let go of our attachments to who we think we are, in order to spread our wings and become who we truly are.
“To begin to practice aparigraha we have to let go of some of the physical, emotional, and mental baggage we’ve amassed throughout our journey. That box of photos covered with dust that we stubbed our toe on every other day? We can let that go. The relationship that never really feels stable? That can go too. The beliefs and opinions and judgments? Even they must be put down. When we let go, we grow. Greater things come to us only if we trust that they will. And slowly as we practice aparigraha, we begin to understand what it is truly asking of us.” - Author, Helen Avery
When we let go of that which no longer serves us, we free ourselves to pursue more meaning, passion, love and joy. Life is constantly changing. Life is a balance of holding on and letting go. Sometimes we need to let go, release and forgive (or forget) anything that you may feel is unhealthy. By allowing ourselves to release, we can spend more energy where it matters, on our own health and happiness.