Happy Healthy YOU
Article content
Kelly Spencer - Happy Healthy YOU
(A wellness column by Kelly Spencer: writer, life coach, yoga & meditation teacher, holistic healer and a mindful life enthusiast!)
I have had visits at the neighbors on many occasions over the years. The time spent there has always been enjoyable and exciting and the people, kind and diverse. But as I contemplated some time off this summer, I decided to just stay home, here in Canada as the neighbors are scaring me.
A news report published by Georgetown University, has documented an upsurge in hate-crimes and violence against Muslims coinciding with the 2016 U.S. election campaign. Last week the world witnessed two non-threatening black men shot to death by white police officer, caught on video, causing protests, outrage and more violence including the murder and attack on many police officers. During discussion about racism in our neighboring country, I was shocked to hear there are still over 110 Klu Klux Klan groups in the U.S. I have heard many Americans fight for their second amendment right to carry fire arms but last year in our neighbor’s yard there were 372 mass shootings, 64 school shootings and over 40,000 injuries and deaths from gun violence.
In a country that boosts freedom, the neighbors feel more like FEAR-dom. Canada’s statistics pale in comparison, but these are our neighbors and this is affecting us. After all they are only a two-hour drive away.
Amanda Kovatchev, a Tillsonburg native, is a flight attendant and aircrew and recently posted this after a day at work on social media: “I’ve lived through a lot and not much frightens me but today while walking through an airport in the USA, I had a thought. This thought was so strong that I actually looked around to see if it was a questionable thought or an instinct. As I walked out of the humid and exhaust thick air and passed through the sliding doors, I entered the airport. I passed by the Starbucks that I have passed by for nearly 10 years and as usual I glanced over at the check in line wondering if some of those people would be on my flight, and but this time, out of nowhere the thought of someone just opening fire on all of us came over me like a wave. I could almost hear the gun shots... My heart started beating faster, I looked around me like I was trying to find the sniper and I was scared. I have never feared guns, I have never feared people, I absolutely never feared going to work...
"Maybe I'm naive or maybe I just never expected the world to be as it is today. Now I am afraid of all of these things. I'm not going to hide the fact that admitting to the feelings I had today, feels quite embarrassing to share, especially on FB, but I guess I'm just kind of curious if I'm the only aircrew feeling like this...?”
Her expression of concern was met with dozens of responses with many aircrew members feeling the same, some offer tips and reminders to stay alert, stay off phone and get through security quickly.www.goodnewsnetwork.org
I really don’t want to buy into all this fear but at the same time I feel it’s necessary to give a voice to the reality of the situation. Our neighbors are hurting. They are hurting bad. They are divided. There seems to be an upsurge of hate crime against minorities, an increase in anger and fear and a ripple effect that is beyond borders. As an oblivious small town white woman, I am shocked, disturbed and feeling guilty for some reason. And after not watching news my entire adult life, CNN has become the train wreck I can’t turn away from.
As a parent, I wonder what Muslim parents or parents of children of color are saying to their children when they go out to live their day. I contemplate the conversations they might have about potential racism or violence. The complete and obvious awareness is, that I have no idea what it would be like.
I contacted my sister, wondering if her husband (who is from Jamaica) and their children have ever felt as though they were treated different because of their skin color. To my shock there were several incidences from the past and the present that they have witness and experienced from people as well as police officers. My sister reminds me “racism isn’t new, the cameras are.”
How would we ever know oppression, unless we witnessed or felt it so blatantly?
CNN’s Don Lemon offered a sober reminder that, for black men in the U.S., no amount of “respectability” is guaranteed protection from police brutality. “I am an American... I shouldn’t have to be yes-sirring anybody,” the CNN anchor said on a segment about the recent police killings of black men. Lemon went on to say that, even with his success and fame, the manner in which he speaks to cops could be a matter of life and death. “As accomplished as I am, as a man of color on television who’s recognizable to many people, I have to do that because I don’t want to be shot and I don’t want to be killed,” he said. “Now my friends, my white counterparts, don’t do that. They speak to police officers in a way that I would never in a million years do, and that is the reality of it. I do that because I want to stay alive.”
This seems unfathomable. I can’t imagine. As a society have we not moved beyond this? A recent poll in the “United” States shows only forty something percent of white people believe there is a concern with racism and 66% of Hispanics and Black feeling it is a big problem.
I have read about people that oppose the trending “Black lives matter” movement, with a response of “all lives matter.” Agreed. I think we can all agree. But is there a piece to the puzzle that we are not understanding? A recent twitter share by one black man offered that puzzle piece. “Saying “all lives matter” is like going to the doctor for help with a broken arm, and the Doctor says “All bones matter”. Ok, but right now let’s fix the broken one.”
After a week of feeling fear and hurt for my friends and family of colour, police officers and generally all people living with this right now, I had to shift gears. Fear, anger and violence don’t remedy fear, anger and violence. I do believe we need to listen to this and give it the attention it needs but I also think, like with all healing, it starts within.
Here is my self-care check list this week:
1. Check in with your own racial blind-spots regarding oppression, profiling and feelings about people that are different than you. Talk to your family about this.
2. Don’t question the outcry. Just because you haven’t experienced it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
3. Let go of blame and offer compassion instead.
4. The power of intention and vision shifts our own energy and that around us. Imagine a peaceful and kind world where all beings experience safety and love.
5. Don’t obsess with the news. I decided, after the suggestion from a dear friend, to give myself mainstream news-free days.
6. There is a lot of wonderful going on in the world. Allow that to be an energy you reach towards. Same friend suggested: www.goodnewsnetwork.org.
(If you would like to see an article on a specific topic, please email kelly@indigolounge.ca)